Q: Why is Tim so handsome?
A: He's a Sanderson. "Ugly" and "Sanderson" are mutually exclusive.

Q: What was Tim's early childhood like?
A: See the Bio.

Q: Why does Tim make so many silly jokes?
A: Actually, the problem is that you don't appreciate the hidden subtlety.

Q: Why do birds, suddenly appear, every time, Tim is near?
A: Because, just like you, they long to be, close to Tim.

Q: Would Tim condescend to perform at my staggette?
A: Possibly. See next question.

Q: What are Tim's rates for an evening of exceptional conversation, exquisite dinning, and a bawdy display of his dancing prowess?
A: Rates are pegged to four times the GNP of Bolivia. Rates subject to change at any time.

Q: Does having curly hair really make you a better person?
A: Yes.

Q: What's best for me to do if I don't have curly hair?
A: Ignorant wretch, begotten of misery and toil, why do you ask what is better for you not to know? What is best for you is something beyond your grasp - not to be, to never have existed. The second best thing is to get a perm.

Tim Sanderson